An Embarrassing Incident

  An Embarrassing Incident     
                                                       

Recently, an old friend reminded me of an embarrassing incident that happened to me in high school.

When I was a teenager, my friends and I rode around in the car listening to the radio until the sun glistened upon the mighty Mississippi river. The Mississippi river ran through our hometown, which was in keeping with its teenager’s strong undercurrents and muddy water attitudes. The river road crept along the rivers route, but since the river was obstructed by a levee, we had to drive on top of the levee's narrow road to view the water.

In those days when you drove on the top of the levee, you could see farms with pastures as we sped down the rivers long winding curves, then, if we were lucky, we saw splashes from the tiny fish in the river, or the occasional opportunistic bird.

My friends and I spent time on the ferry that crossed the river night and day. I used to stand on the front of the boat and pretend I was Barbra Streisand singing, On A Clear Day, imitating the character in the movie Funny Girl.

Before the days of videocassettes, CD players, etc, the car radio was the popular form of entertainment, with the exception of going to the movies. Therefore, in addition to the river road, we had other driving locations, one of which was the road that encircled the grounds in front of our State's Capital building.

We lived in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, the State of Louisiana's capital city, therefore the State Capital building, or what we called the “Capital Area," is lined with state government offices. The building has twenty-six stories and the grounds are smothered in oak trees dripping with moss, blooming azalea bushes, and so thick with shrubbery you cannot see where you're going at night, it's pitch black in every direction.-Or it was at that time-

Anyway, on one of our State Capital ground nighttime drives, we were listening to my high school sweetheart's eight-track tapes. He was the kid (they have one in every crowd) with the luxuries in our group; you know the one with the car, etc...; and he took advantage of it by bossing the rest of us around who weren't in line to the throne. The king on his throne was also my boyfriend, with who, I laughed, sang, loved, and disagreed with constantly.

On this particular night we were arguing about a song he wouldn't let me hear on one of his eight tracks, when of course, I realized I had to find a bathroom. His eight-tracks were a big thing and listening to them was something I hated to interrupt, but I didn't think I could wait much longer, so I asked him to stop in front of the State Capital lawn. The State Capital grounds would afford me the privacy I needed, since I could hide under the safety of an Oak tree.

When I told my boyfriend and friends I simply had to use a bathroom, their response was;

"Ann, how are we going to find a bathroom downtown in the middle of the night?"

I answered, "I can go under the oak trees in the courtyard, no one will see me, and I’ll be right back." I was so aggravated about the tape that I didn't give much thought about the safest place to hide.

So I squat under the closest tree I could find by the car, and began to pee, then I heard birds chirping in the tree, and thought, what kind of bird chirps at night? Then the chirping sounded louder as if it were getting closer and I thought these birds sure are friendly.

Then, I heard a piercing chirp above my head, at which time I decided I'd better step up the beat, or rather, my feet, and run as far away from that tree as humanly possible. 

Then, I felt a bird on my head. - Horrified, I tried to knock it off, but the small dinosaur began to rapidly flap its wings, and latch onto me as if I was trespassing upon its nesting place. I tried to run faster, but my pants were down, so I kept falling.

From the car, I could see my boyfriend and friends laughing, but I couldn't understand why... It never occurred to me how I must have appeared running with my pants to my knees, and bats attached to my head. 

I couldn't coordinate my legs so I resembled a penguin running from a predator, I'd make it a few feet, then fall, repeating the same action two or three times, until I finally reached the safety of the car.

Although, I didn't expect my friends or my boyfriend to drive forward a few feet when I reached the car, each laughing in hysterics, while I slapped myself on the top of my head, jumping like a happy monkey with my pants to my knees.

After things calmed down, I told John (my boyfriend) not to feel bad about driving forward the way he did, because I understood he was thinking about their safety. After all, I knew they didn't want the bats to get inside the car, surely I could understand that.

John smiled and said, "Ann, the bats were long gone by the time you reached the car. We just thought it was funny watching you try to catch the car with your pants down, and we were laughing so hard we couldn't tell you at the time, but by the time you reached the car the bats were gone."

"The bats flew away after you ran from under the tree. We could see you waving your hands still trying to knock them off of your head, and I'm sorry honey, we just couldn't stop laughing; because it was the funniest thing any of us had ever witnessed. "

It was the craziest moment I've ever experienced, but I'm glad my friends got a kick out of it. We still laugh about it to this day, and I'm happy to know I have something to do with that. However, I know that hard-headed bat held onto my head all the way to the car, and no one will convince me it didn't, hateful creature.

Thank you for reading. Come back for more posts, I will be working on sweeping the cobwebs off of my blog soon...