Have you ever felt irritable as soon as you get out of your bed, mainly because of what stares back at you in the mirror? Especially, if it feels like a cobweb is stuck to your face and the spider is missing, running amuck somewhere having a good time in your house or pajamas, while you keep wiping your face over and over again with two good hands. Then, the mirror mirror on the wall tells you that Thing One and Thing Two have been partying on top of your head all night.
Then it's get dressed time, and it doesn’t matter what blouse you put on, it isn't going to match or fit, and... it will need ironing … After which, you spend thirty minutes going through your closet taking clothes off their hangers so fast that within seconds you have enough garments to make a patchwork quilt.
Well, I've had quite a few of those kind of days and as much as I know better, one day I decided I could remedy my bad feelings by getting a new haircut. And everyone knows that getting a haircut when you feel ugly is like going to the grocery store when you're hungry. It’s a mistake, a mistake, and a mistake, because when you go to the store hungry, you’re susceptible to the first product on the shelf, and when you enter a hair saloon you're vulnerable to every cosmetology magazine ever placed on a coffee table- the only difference between these two scenario's is that digesting a bad meal is easier than living life with a bad haircut-
Knowing this, I left anyway and instead of getting my regular hairdresser, I got Mr. “I know more about you than you do.” And in my weak state of mine (just like that candy bar on the grocers shelf) I thought, sure I’ll try out a new hairdresser, why not, then someone will always be available if I decide I want to "feel" better one day.
If only we could see the future, I would have known that when I left the hair saloon, I would wish for Thing One and Thing Two again, for many reasons, golly, I would even bargain for their hairdo.
Because when I left the hair saloon I left with the most hideous haircut, I’ve ever seen in my life. A haircut I was going to have to live with for what would feel like an eternity. My hair had long slivers that resembled Shirley Temple’s ringlets. I think the hairdresser drugged me and put my head through a meat grinder~ because my hair resembled a mop.
How could a hairdresser do such a bad job on a haircut?
Evidently, when this cosmetologist saw me walk in the door his eyes stuck to me like laser beams. And I fell right into his cup of soup freely giving myself over to an unfamiliar hairdresser, because “I felt ugly that day” gee…as if that feeling was anything new…and I should be old enough to recognize the difference between a mood and a miracle.
“Sure, give me something new” I said as I sat dutifully in the hairdressers chair, showing Mr. hairdo guy the type of person he had in his chair- you know, one of us “feel ugly” one day types who thinks a hairdresser can make them feel better about themselves. However, he was right about one thing, I did need my head examined, just not my hair.
I wish that the first time he twirled me around in his torture chair admiring his work, and saying,“You won’t even need sculpting lotion…” and I saw the meat grinder Shirley Temple hairdo that I could have jumped him with Thing One and Thing Two.
Sometimes, I still imagine my super heroes and I whacking every bit of his hair off, mustache and all, and saying “There you see, and you won’t even have to use sculpting lotion..."
What is the Worst Haircut You've Ever Had In Your life?