5/13/08

Tuesday's Question: What is the Worst Haircut You've Ever Had?

Have you ever felt irritable as soon as you get out of your bed, mainly because of what stares back at you in the mirror? Especially, if it feels like a cobweb is stuck to your face and the spider is missing, running amuck somewhere having a good time in your house or pajamas, while you keep wiping your face over and over again with two good hands. Then, the mirror mirror on the wall tells you that Thing One and Thing Two have been partying on top of your head all night.

Then it's get dressed time, and it doesn’t matter what blouse you put on, it isn't going to match or fit, and... it will need ironing … After which, you spend thirty minutes going through your closet taking clothes off their hangers so fast that within seconds you have enough garments to make a patchwork quilt.

Well, I've had quite a few of those kind of days and as much as I know better, one day I decided I could remedy my bad feelings by getting a new haircut. And everyone knows that getting a haircut when you feel ugly is like going to the grocery store when you're hungry. It’s a mistake, a mistake, and a mistake, because when you go to the store hungry, you’re susceptible to the first product on the shelf, and when you enter a hair saloon you're vulnerable to every cosmetology magazine ever placed on a coffee table- the only difference between these two scenario's is that digesting a bad meal is easier than living life with a bad haircut-

Knowing this, I left anyway and instead of getting my regular hairdresser, I got Mr. “I know more about you than you do.” And in my weak state of mine (just like that candy bar on the grocers shelf) I thought, sure I’ll try out a new hairdresser, why not, then someone will always be available if I decide I want to "feel" better one day.

If only we could see the future, I would have known that when I left the hair saloon, I would wish for Thing One and Thing Two again, for many reasons, golly, I would even bargain for their hairdo.

Because when I left the hair saloon I left with the most hideous haircut, I’ve ever seen in my life. A haircut I was going to have to live with for what would feel like an eternity. My hair had long slivers that resembled Shirley Temple’s ringlets. I think the hairdresser drugged me and put my head through a meat grinder~ because my hair resembled a mop.

How could a hairdresser do such a bad job on a haircut?

Evidently, when this cosmetologist saw me walk in the door his eyes stuck to me like laser beams. And I fell right into his cup of soup freely giving myself over to an unfamiliar hairdresser, because “I felt ugly that day” gee…as if that feeling was anything new…and I should be old enough to recognize the difference between a mood and a miracle.

“Sure, give me something new” I said as I sat dutifully in the hairdressers chair, showing Mr. hairdo guy the type of person he had in his chair- you know, one of us “feel ugly” one day types who thinks a hairdresser can make them feel better about themselves. However, he was right about one thing, I did need my head examined, just not my hair.

I wish that the first time he twirled me around in his torture chair admiring his work, and saying,“You won’t even need sculpting lotion…” and I saw the meat grinder Shirley Temple hairdo that I could have jumped him with Thing One and Thing Two.

Sometimes, I still imagine my super heroes and I whacking every bit of his hair off, mustache and all, and saying “There you see, and you won’t even have to use sculpting lotion..."

What is the Worst Haircut You've Ever Had In Your life?





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12 comments:

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Well, I don't recall ever having a bad haircut, but then I've never given anyone carte blanche with my hair. There is a reason for this policy. I am terrible at fixing hair, so if I don't keep it simple I'm in trouble.

I'm the one who is trying to fix my hair to go somewhere and spending most of the time saying bad words. I have absolutely zero ability in styling my hair. Once in a blue moon it looks halfway decent, but most of the time I'm having a bad hair day.

I've had the same stylist for the last 20 years, so she knows exactly what to do and what my limitations are. She has tried to teach me a few tricks. Didn't work. If I want my hair to look great for a special function, I just call her for an appointment.

I envy those folks that can style their hair. Great question Ann and thanks for reminding me that I can't style my own hair. Bwahahahahahaha. Big hug honey. :)

Ann said...

Sandee, (LOL) Now, I understand your "reason for this policy" (laughing)

And have never gone to a different hairdresser since this experience.

I've been laughing throughout your comment. You are so funny. Thanks for answering yet another Tuesday's Question and for being such a great friend~

Huge hug~

Ann

Misty Dawn said...

Ann, are we somehow mentally connected? I mean seriously! Today, I went to work, and then went to my scheduled appointment for a haircut!!! I was hesitant, because I was considering a rather short cut, and I have never had my hair short - it has always been 'fairly' long to 'really' long. Well, I threw all caution to the wind and said, "Just do whatever you think will look good!" So, it's short... only one person has seen it so far (my BBFF and she saw it over the webcam)... she loved it, but I'm still not sure about it.

So, this isn't really a good 'worst haircut' story, but I had to laugh when I came to your blog and saw the subject of the Tuesday Question, considering I just got home from getting a haircut!!!

Ann said...

Misty Dawn, I bet it looks good. I have a shot hair cut now and it's so much easier to deal with, although it was hard to get used too. The important thing is whether you like it or not. Let's call this a good haircut story, because I just know it looks good.

I'm glad it was a "good hair cut story" and not an awful have to live with for months nightmare.

One time, my mother had her hair permed and it looked so terrible we couldn't even tell her a white lie, and of course there was my Shirley Temple do, so I think when you get a bad one it's immediately obvious. (LOL)

Thanks for stopping by~

Huge hug~

Ann

P.S. And of course we're mentally connected. (smile)

FerdC ~ The Best Parts said...

Every haircut I get now is the worst one I've ever had, not because of my stylist (my dear wife, Princess Gail) but because I seem to be losing more and more! Damn!

Annie, since you are making an issue of this, I think we your readers deserve to see a picture of this lovely, curly haircut you had. We could all use a chuckle! ; )

I wonder who you resembled most, Thing One or Thing Two? Hmm.

Ann said...

ferdc, (laughing) How thoughtful of you to bring that to the attention of my readers. (LOL)

You don't really think I have a photo of what I call the Shirley Temple meat cutter ringlets haircut do you?

But, I tell you what I'll do, with Thing One and Thing Two's help of course. I will see if I can find a hairdo that resembles the spectacular original and get back to you, o.k.? (LOL)

And I think your hair looks terrific. Because losing some of your hair will not make a difference in your looks. Sometimes us woman get the short end of the stick when it comes to beautifying ourselves.

(Smile)

Have a good evening ferdc and thanks for your suggestion. I'll see what I can do, after all, you're one of my favorite readers.

Cheers~ Ann

feefifoto said...

Oh, without a doubt it was the hair cut I gave myself. Here's a really useful piece of advice: hair stretches. Especially wet hair. Especially curly hair. And then it snaps back. So if you want to cut your own bangs and you pull them straight while they're wet, and you cut and cut and cut to get them even until they're about an inch long? Then after your hair is dry you will unfailingly look like a turnip. And everyone at your high school will notice.

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Jennifer Robin said...

I was 20, going to a big formal affair on a ship, and the guy who had cut my hair several times already to my satisfaction decided to try something new. First he went asymmetrical, and when I said "I don't think so", he "fixed" it and I ended up with the back of my head looking like a monkey's butt, and yes, I had to go to the formal affair looking that way.

Dawn said...

Does a bad perm count?
I looked like a poodle and hid for days!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

That is so easy, and I remember this just like yesterday.
When I was 19, I had a classic 80's kind of hair-doo. Swept back with a long curly back. No, not ON my back, but the back of my head. (he hee)
Anyway, when I was that age, my look was really important to me. I was overly concerned of what women thought of how I looked. Funny, because things are so different now.
I stopped in to a Cost Cutters, and wanted a trim on the sides. I was sat in a chair, and my stylist was talking and talking away. It seemed like the scissors were just there flinging around wildly as story after story came out of her mouth. She hacked of a lot of hair as she moved to the back of my head, and I said NO NO, I did not want that short! She kept on "Fixing" that particular cut and telling more stories, Did this lady listen to me at all?
By the time I was done, I looked like I had just joined the army. I like having a shorter cut now, but back then I felt like I was butchered.
The manager asked if there was any trouble and if I was happy with the service. I told her how disappointed I was that my cut was completely wrong, and that I hated it. She said there was no charge ... one on the house. I told her that I did not want my money back - I wanted my hair back!
The next day, all I heard was, "What happened to you?" ... followed by laughter.
Free is not always good. (wink)

Song today? Missing You, by Steve Perry. It's on the greatest hits album with "5 previously unrealeased" on it. I don't know exactly why, but I just love that song. Reminds me of a lost love, and someone that I miss. She left when I was still drinking (many years ago). I have a lot of regrets from those days.
Ironically, the song makes me feel alive, and I can listen to it over and over and over again. The melody is hauntingly beautiful.
Check it out! :-)

Happy week Ann
Speedy

Henson Ray said...

I sympathize. The worst haircut I ever received was when I was in high school and I went through my "hair salon" phase. I hated the way my hair looked, and asked my mom to take me with her the next time she went to a professional salon (as opposed to the old-fashioned barber shop I always went to.) My stylist was a chain-smoker (because you could in those days), and he seemed more concerned with lighting his next cigarette than paying attention to my hair. At the end of my "visit," I looked like Paul Lynde...not sure how he accomplished that, but I never went back to the salon again.

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