My father sent me this e-mail yesterday, and I liked it so much I decided to pass it along to you. I hope you enjoy reading the following quotes as much as I did, if not, you will still note a comparable difference in the way we phrase our arguments today.
E-mail begins here:
"There was a time when words were used beautifully. These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language was boiled down to four-letter words!"
The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison," and he said,
"If you were my wife, I'd take it."
Gladstone, a member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, sir," said Disraeli, "On whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
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"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
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"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
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"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
- Winston Churchill.
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"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow.
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"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
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"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner).
- Moses Hadas.
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"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln.
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"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain.
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"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde.
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"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend....
if you have one." -
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
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"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.
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"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
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"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop.
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He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright.
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"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb.
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"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson.
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"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating.
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"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure".
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure".
- Jack E. Leonard.
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"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
- Robert Redford.
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"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed.
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed.
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"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker.
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"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain.
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"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
- Mae West.
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"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde.
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"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912).
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"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder.
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"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx.
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A WOMAN MARRIES A MAN EXPECTING HE WILL CHANGE; HE DOESN'T.
A MAN MARRIES A WOMAN EXPECTING SHE WILL REMAIN THE SAME; SHE DOESN'T.
anonymous
A MAN MARRIES A WOMAN EXPECTING SHE WILL REMAIN THE SAME; SHE DOESN'T.
anonymous
5 comments:
LOL... They are all funny Ann but this is my favorite...
"If you were my husband, I'd give you poison," and he said,
"If you were my wife, I'd take it."
Love them all. Have a great day Ann. Big hug. :)
There were some great quotes in there...I liked them all...:):)
Haha. I liked best the ones between Churchill and Lady Astor. Wild and witty!
What makes them so funny is that they are all based on truth. Great post!!
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