Happy Halloween!

                                                  

Have a happy and save Halloween! 

Medicating Children With Symptoms Of ADHD

When my son was in the second grade, his teacher suggested he have an evaluation for Attention Deficit Disorder.
Coping with the consequences of a divorce, our home had become an organizational disaster area, throwing my son into an emotional orbit. There were changes in his daily routine and children go haywire when their environment provides them little, or poor structure. During this time in our family my son was hyper, restless , and unhappy. Although he was voted "best character" in his school's yearbook the year before our family problems.

It got to where I could pinpoint when he would bring a disciplinary letter home from school. You can see why his teacher was concerned since she certainly didn't have a clue what was happening in our home.

Educators, child psychologists, and parents alike, often blame the child, instead of looking at what our kids may be experiencing at any given moment.

This is not to suggest we ignore teachers and child psychologists advice, or not pay close attention to our children's' behavior; however, you have to be careful, when considering putting your child on a potentially harmful medication.
Moreover, we have to watch being over zealous in our attempt to help kids who suffer from both, Attention Deficit Disorder, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. With so many children on drugs (ADHD medication) that have a street drug value, there is certainly cause for alarm.

It seems regardless of the consequences, parents, physicians, and educators, are quick to assess, and medicate children with social and behavior problems, misdiagnosing these kids with ADD or ADHD. This raises concern over the question, that we may be overlooking better treatments, and options for kids with ADD or ADHD.

After the opposition to an evaluation, my sons' teacher insisted on the completion of a written list of symptoms, confirming his behavior. However, the questions to the evaluation were general. For example, " Is your child easily bored or distracted?" Now, how can you answer that? Especially, if you are opposed to putting your child on medication, and your answers may suggest your child has ADD or ADHD. It's easier to prescribe medication instead of looking at all the options, especially when a professional suggests it.

Why do we make it our children's problem, then define them as having something wrong with them, simply because they are higher strung than other children? When many of these kids would benefit from a highly structured environment, with daily routines. We need to stop being indolent, and start looking into the many alternatives that are producing positive results.

Alternatives to medicines are out there; although like children taking medication, these alternatives should be part of a comprehensive treatment program. Parental counseling, educational plans, and social training, are the essential ingredients to any successful treatment program, which needs to be in place with or without medication.

For example parents should research a comprehensive treatment program whether their child
is on medication or not.

So we all need to focus on the whole picture when it comes to treating and diagnosing ADHD.
You know your child better than anyone else, so listen to your own instincts, especially on an issue as important ADHD.



Note from author- This article is referring to my personal experience with my sons symptoms of ADHD. All parents should follow the advice of their medical professional when considering medicating their children. These are the opinions of a writer and parent not a medical professional derived from personal experience and shouldn't be used as a basis for making such an important and personal decision. Everyones situation and experiences are different and need to be considered on a individual basis by medical professionals.



Thank you for reading!


A Nice Place In The Sun



Photo obtained from public images


Subscribe to A Nice Place In The Sun










A Nice Place In The Sun

When Young Children Lie For Approval

Children lie for different reasons, so it's important for parents to understand the difference between a lie and an exaggeration. Children pretend lie, exaggerate, or lie to keep from getting in trouble. Therefore, it’s helps if parents understand the intention behind, or the reason their child is lying, and get professional advice on the best course of action to take. This article is simply the opinion of another parent and a children’s book writer meant to inspire and entertain parents in the area of rearing children. However, my own childhood experiences coupled with a love for children inspired me to write about the issue of self-esteem in early childhood...

For me the first grade was a courageous attempt to conceal my inability to jump rope from the girls in my class. The youngest and only girl in my family, I learned to play games like Batman and Robin instead of learning to jump rope or master the hoola hoop. Before the first grade, I never laid eyes on a jump rope before, and now I had to learn to jump one!

I needed help, and I thought help arrived in the form of Holly White, a popular little girl in my first grade classroom. Everyone loved Holly, and everything Holly did met with instant approval.

All of the little girls in my first grade class wanted to be friends with Holly, so every Friday she would interview each of her admirers, and decide which one would have the pleasure of her company. I thought I had a real shot, however my hopes were about to disintegrate.

My parents had a boarding stable, and most children were impressed with that fact, however Holly White did not turn out to be one of those children. Holly loved pigs, not horse’s, pigs, or at least that‘s what she said. Therefore, when she was deciding which groupies house to attend, she asked each of us what was so great about our house. I told her during my interview that my house was great because we had pigs. The lie came out of my mouth before I knew it, and it was too late after it did, since Holly was delighted at the prospect of meeting the sloppy livestock, and told everyone about our plans for that week-end.

We had about fifty acres of property that we used for a pasture, so I assumed the pasture would be a good place to keep a pig farm. I conspired to walk Holly out in the pasture, and when we couldn’t find any pigs (since there weren’t any) I would say the pigs must have wandered off somewhere when we there. So you see it was not only a lie it was a premeditated lie!

When we arrived at the barn, Holly and I went out to the pasture to look for the pig farm. I thought I was on top of the world, I was not only friends with a celebrity, I had impressed her with my engaging resources. We were halfway through the pasture when we heard, “Ann! What are you doing?” echo from a distance.

Before I could return a lie for my answer Holly hollered back, “We’re going to see the pigs!”

I wanted to disappear, and then I heard my Mother answer, “Ann We don’t have any pigs! Come back from the pasture this instant!” consequently, this is where my popularity at school came to a screeching halt, and I went back to being plain old Ann, except that I added liar to my name. The fact that I felt the weight of humiliation the rest of the year was a blessing, however, I was too young to realize it at the time.

I think one of the main reasons children lie is for the same reason I did, they wish to be accepted by their peers. Especially today, with so many different forms of entertainment, and the bombardment of ads suggesting that only certain styles of clothing and physical characteristics are acceptable in society today. All of these elements have the propensity to damage young children's self -esteem. And a poor self -esteem not only robs children of an opportunity for a bright future, it is at fault for many of society’s social problems today; drug abuse, crime, domestic abuse and eating disorders all derive from a lack of, or poor self -esteem.

I think parents should provide ways of helping their kids improve their self-esteem, through positive reinforcement, positive role modeling, and communication. One of the best gifts you can give your child is to provide them with ways they can improve their self worth. If they believe in themselves they will not expect the world to provide them with happiness, rather they will expect themselves to provide happiness to the world. So nurture their self-esteem it will most certainly pay off in the future.

Subscribe to A Nice Place In The Sun

Link to photo on public images

Visit Rosie's Shop! All profits help kids.

Spanking Where Do You Draw The Line?

Where do you draw the line? Spare the rod spoil the child, is what many parents believe. According to ChildAbuse.com, 61 percent of the parents surveyed say they believe spanking is an acceptable form of discipline. Most parents who spank their children had parents who spanked them, given that spanking is an acceptable form of discipline in their family. It seems parents who themselves were spanked deny their true memory of the occasion. We learn many things from our parents that we do not utilize in our parenting, but it seems spanking is passed down from one generation to the next.

Maybe it is because we do not remember the negative feelings associated with a spanking, and trust that we must have deserved a spanking if we got one.

After all, we did turn out o.k., did we not? This is not to say, that if you spank your child or children you are a bad parent, however after what I experienced not long ago, I cannot see myself ever spanking a child again. Since my doctor’s office was closed, over the weekend I had to go the emergency room for a minor injury.

When I got there were so many people in the waiting area, I had to sit outside in the lobby.
Within a few minutes a pregnant woman, with two small children began walking back and forth to the restroom, her babies struggling to keep up with her long strides.

The woman was walking at a fast pace, more like the pace someone keeps when walking for exercise, not in the company of two small children. Her children toddled behind, the little boy keeping up better than the girl, but both were a good ways behind Mom.

The little girl was having the most trouble, although she was humming a song, and smiling at me every time they passed. Her older brother trailed closer to Mom, although I believe this was due to experience. On the last trip, the little girl's legs gave out and down she fell to the floor, followed by a wail so loud it echoed through the lobby. Some Fireman took notice and the security guard on duty put his newspaper down.

Several people including myself went toward the little girl to see how they could help. This was when the little baby suddenly threw her arms up for me to pick her up. Since I had been smiling at her when she passed, the baby thought I was there to comfort her, in spite of the fact that her Mom was right there. Then the mother grabbed her arm, yanked her around, and slapped her against the head and on the behind in front of everyone!

I will never forget the look on that little girls face while her mother disciplined her.

You could tell her heart was breaking and her feelings were hurt, as she held the look of dismay, fear, and anger in her expression. Her face turned different shades of color and the happy little baby transformed within those few minutes, from gentle and kind to angry and despondent. I could not help but wonder what she was internalizing at that moment. When she is an adult, will she remember the negative feelings associated with that spanking?

I guess this is an extreme example, however what serves as a good example for spanking? The mother at the hospital looked at me as if she had done nothing wrong, and I really think she believed it! She probably grew up in an environment where spanking in all in a days work.

When we spank our children, are we not sending confusing messages? It is confusing, we teach children not to hit their friends, or fight at school, and at the same time, we tell them that we spank them because we love them. Again, where do you draw the line?

Our children receive mixed messages everyday when it comes to violent behavior, so maybe we should be setting a better example at home.

For instance if we spank our children from babyhood on they learn to react with hostility

When confronted with negative feelings, or situations. One of my favorite poems about parent hood is Children learn what they Live, by Dorothy Law Nolte, PhD

Every time I read this poem, I understand why Dr. Nettle has a PhD in her signature.

If it is true that our children learn what they live, parents need to be mindful of how their

behavior influences their children's daily lives.

One of the hardest decisions we make as parents is deciding which form of discipline to use, and when it comes to spanking where do you draw the line?

Poem, Children Learn What They Live

Child Abuse.com

Link to Photo image- Public

Subscribe to A Nice Place In The Sun

A Nice Place In The Sun

Your Child 's First Summer Camp

When I was four or five years old, I rode with my mother to buy storage trunks for my brothers to use at summer camp. The first time I saw the chests, I broke out in tears. Here were these huge trunks with large locks on the side, which resembled something you would pack if you were leaving home for good! I remember trembling inside at the thought of my brothers packed in those trunks! I really thought my parents were shipping them off to live for good, since they were always into some kind of trouble. My mother figured out what I was thinking, and cleared it up nicely, however I developed a fear of summer camp. Never mastering this fear, I missed out on a fun childhood experience.

When we send our children to summer camp, and they seem excited about it at the time, it is shocking to find a tear stained letter from them within a few days. To experience some homesickness is normal, and will lessen with age, however for some young children, a short overnight stay with a friend is difficult, much less summer camp!

For these kids, summer camp can produce intense fear, depression, trouble eating, and social problems. Children can be so cruel, and it does not take them long, to pinpoint the child who shows the slightest sign of fear.

It seems children with this fear act out by either withdrawing from their peers, or showing signs of unacceptable behavior in social gatherings. However, there are ways you can help your child, if they are afraid of going to their first summer camp.

When I saw my parents buy the large trunks for my brother’s departure, I saw the desire to send them to camp as a sign of rejection. Therefore, it is best to include your kids when making the decision to send them to camp. Have them help you with the research in finding a camp that matches their interests, and ask them questions about what kind of camp they would like to attend. There is not any point in forcing them to go to one particular camp, like the one you, or your spouse attended when you were children. Since they may say they want to go just to please you, then get there, and want to come home. Do your research on camp policies and procedures for writing home, and schedules during the day. Everyone wants to know the expectations of them in any given situation, and children are not any different.

After doing your research, bring your child to the camp for a visit, and meet the camp counselors. They will be spending time with these people everyday, so it will help if they like them, and can look forward to seeing them again. The advantage in this is they will feel more secure about whom they will share their days and nights for six or more weeks. How would you feel given you were embarking on the same journey?

Next, have them help pack their belongings for the trip and make it fun, by offering examples of what they will be doing, and the fun things you think they will do. Reassure them they can do this, and how proud they will be of themselves when they do. Do not bargain, or make threats, as this encourages them to feel they cannot be honest with you, for fear of letting you down. It also threatens their security about whether camp will really be fun, or if you are just trying to get rid of them for the summer. Children will share your attitude about going away, and facing challenging situations, so be upbeat and secure in your manner.

Let your child know if they call you, they can voice whatever is troubling them, and it will be received without indifference, anger, or judgment. Children need to have a soft place to fall, and for your child, let that place be you.

I certainly hate to think of other children internalizing the thought of being sent to camp in a trunk, so I wanted to share with my readers these important ideas.

However, there are many ways counselors can help you and your child, cope with separation anxiety, after all, they deal with it daily, so keep in touch with them, and your children over their stay.

Remember, you are your child’s soft place to fall, and their example of how to master the many obstacles and fears life will toss out each day.

Cartoon contributions - public images

First Graders Fear Of Rejection

As he tasted the water from the creek bed,

he saw the reflection of a dogs’ head!

He turned his head sideways, unsure what to do,

But when his head turned, the dogs’ head turned too!

Poddle barked at the dog, but his body felt weak.

He tried to run backwards, and slipped in the creek.

(From my manuscipt, Poddles Mistake)

The problems first graders have to deal with on their first day of school, and later, has an enormous influence on how they will deal with life later on. Especially when they are paralyzed by the fear that they will somehow not met their parents, teachers, and peers expectations. Everyone likes to read about what they can relate too, and children are not any different. That’s why people who write for pre-schoolers and beginning readers, use these fears as the foundation for many of their books. Since our readers are just beginning to join their peers in the world, especially at school, they are beginning to deal with the many social standards set by a cultural society difficult to master. Many of the social skills required to make it through the first grade require self-confidence, and a strong self esteem. One of the hardest obstacles first graders face is when parents do not realize that first grade involves some of the same problems adults face when starting a new job. In addition, we forget they are coping with some of the same pressures to succeed, as adults, without the benefit of experience. Now, who among us would like to repeat the first grade?

In many ways, we have all remained in first grade, stuck in the fear of rejection, no matter how confident and successful we happen to be.

Deep down within us all, we remember the fear of stepping off the school bus for the first time, and entering a classroom of other children. It really is a terrifying feeling, your hands are sweating, and your mind is racing, wondering how your clothes and school supplies compare with other students. I remember my teacher assigning desks, and the desk she assigned me, had some unmentionable grossness stuck under the seat. I felt it when I put my hand underneath the desk the second day of school . I was too embarrassed to tell the teacher, so I spent most of my first year of school horrified by what may be lucking from beneath my desk! Why I didn’t tell my mother, I do no know, although, I suspect it was since I thought I would let her down somehow. Children can be so silly, however I think they pick up on the fact that fear makes grown ups uncomfortable. Hence, we deny our children’s fears, and run from most experiences that have the propensity to cause us pain.

We are biologically designed to forget pain, especially when it comes to our children. I think the first way to help children overcome any fear, is to relate their experiences to our own. Think back to your first day of school, and what you would have wanted your Mom to say. Maybe your parents brought you to school, and even brought you into the classroom. However, you probably started your first day the same as the rest of us, keeping your fear of rejection at arms length, not eluding to the fact, you were scared to death. What is wrong with being afraid anyway? Who ever said it was something to be ashamed of? Somewhere, someone came up with the idea that fear is a weakness, and you must hide it away. I remember being embarrassed to cry in front of people at that age, as if there is something wrong with showing your emotion. Somehow, I got the impression, that it is shameful to cry in front of others.

My manuscript, Poddles Mistake, (exerpts above) deals with children’s fear of rejection , and there are plenty other manuscripts and books for children that do. Since it is a characteristic bestowed upon first graders everywhere. We can all relate, and I think we owe it to our children to help them discover the ways in which we can help them cope with these fears. Fear is an antiquity faced over and over again, by us adults everyday, so when we notice it in our children, these characteristics are intimidating. The puppy in my manuscript is so afraid of displeasing his owner, he leaves home, and his owner is never made aware of his feelings. Forced to come to terms with his fear of rejection, he masters it, and in doing so gains confidence in his own ability, to make himself happy. Since, he recognizes his fear for what it is, he is able to overcome it, and is set free by the experience. Conquering fear is one of the biggest challenges with face in life, so it is important we learn to manifest the necessary coping skills, early in our lives.

In the literary world one must agree to conform to the principles of rejection, so I have struggled with this issue, however nothing compares to dealing with that same prospect in the first grade; consequently, children really need their parents on this issue. Kids also fear rejection by their parents and friends, so be careful with what you say. Watch saying things like, “ If they jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?” since children really want to please their peers, and this will make them feel foolish. This is too young an age to understand what that means anyway, and it does not help you, help them, build confidence in their own abilities. Get your kids to talk to you about what they are most afraid of, and then validate their feelings by giving examples of how you dealt with the same desire to fit in with the crowd, and please parents and teachers. Young children learn by watching their parents, so begin by being the living expression of what you wish your children to be, and encourage the fact they can and will become and be anything they wish.

Poddles Mistake is unpublished at the moment , however there are many good books available, to help children overcome fear in school , and in other areas of life.

Poddles Mistake will be available on the market before you know it, so remember the title and subject matter!

Thanks for reading-