Lost At Sea

Lost At Sea  

How come we know who we are when we're children, but as we grow, we coast like ships without a compass far out to sea, losing ourselves into the society or situation in which we're born?

Sometimes, late at night I wonder if I lost my memory, how I would know who I was, and why I’m alive. I have clear memories of early childhood. In fact, there are times when I believe I knew myself well in the first decade of my life, lost myself in my twenties, and then spent my thirties searching for my authentic self- Because somehow I forgot who I was to begin with- 

Then, I found myself face first on the dusty bottom of the ocean- After which, I wasted much time floating upwards, without realizing I was given a second chance when I was pushed toward the sky, sucked in oxygen, and returned to shore. 

It's as though our ships sail from the earths sandy beaches, like the newborn waves who struggled with the rolling tide for centuries. We are not unlike anything alive, for example, the trees, plants, flowers, animals, etc... And everything alive suffers, feels joy, sacrifices for love, and is grateful to give back the gifts they've received from our planet and creator.  

I believe we roll upon the earths wet shore when we’re children, then as we grow older we drift far out to sea dancing against the oceans current, and if we're lucky, we learn why we’re blessed enough to be alive, who we are, and why we're standing on solid ground- Capable of stretching out on soft clover, gaze at the stars, and sail upon the ocean's waters.-    

Perhaps the tiny waves that splash upon the beach are returning home, after paying the cost of living...or rolling back to the beginning- We notice the earth’s remarkable beauty, yet we're unaware of the unseen wounds in others. Some people seem to see the river of pain that runs deep inside the soul of others. While others pass human beings on the street as if they're blind, laughing, and telling themselves they're kind. 

Nowadays, I've decided to soak my heart in love and appreciation for what matters in life, like the trees, bird's, clover, stars, animals, flowers, people, and the rest of the living things around us.  I will remember a quote by Mark Twain, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did.  So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.”  

Then, like a child, I'll coast on a ship without a compass far out to sea and lose myself into what awaits me  thereafter.