A Nice Place In The Sun: Rebellious Soda Pop humor

Oct 24, 2016

The Mystery Of The Soda Pop Bottle

Right now, I have a two liter bottle of "Soda Pop," that I cannot open. I have tried to cut the top open with a knife, run it under hot water, hit it with the back of the knife, smash it against the counter, cut the tab off, plead with it, in the best words I could find, but no, the bottle will not open! I've had this problem before and these techniques worked, but not this time.

This bottle is against me, I'm sure of it and I'm gonna open the top if it's the last thing I do, and it just might be the last thing I do...'cause it's the most hostile bottle of pop I've ever bought.

I do not want to mention the brand name of the soda, because it's the bottles fault. Although, I have to say, if I was inside a soda bottle I might not want to come out either.

But then again, I wonder what is inside? Does it have slivers of Gold in it, or what?

Favorite quotes-

In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.

Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”'

F. Scott Fitzgerald. (Lines from The Great Gatsby)
"A Southerner Talks Music"

Mark Twain

"A book must be the ax for the frozen sea inside us."

Franz Kafka

An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
- Mark Twain in Eruption

"I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself"

Mark Twain

About Ann...

I'm a professional humorist/children's writer, mother, friend, and cat owner, and the author of A Nice Place In The Sun. I write situational humor most of the time, but actually, there is no telling what I might turn out.

I'm writing my first novel for adults, and I have children's book manuscripts, as well as short stories, traveling through the writers market. Most of my online work is posted on A Nice Place In The Sun, although I am published in local magazines, and continue to work toward traditional publication.