Never Interfere With A Daddy Ducks Breakfast

If you are here to find out which story is true and which one is fiction from a post I wrote today on June 5th, the first story is true. My mother's dog whose name was really Tobaseata, after her father Toby, had puppies with noses that were turned upside down. However it wasn't a serious birth defect and it was barely noticeable, except of course when it rained. Only kidding, I exaggerated just a tad, but their noses were upside down or turned the wrong way to where the larger part of the nose was on the top and the two holes for breathing were on the bottom.

My mother says no one ever noticed the puppies noses and although they told everyone the puppies still found good homes.

After writing a second draft of this post to send to a local magazine, I decided to repost it for my readers who missed it due to the holiday. In addition I wanted to have it posted in my archives.

If you've already read it, enjoy the changes, and if you haven't read it, enjoy your first read- plus wish it luck out in the scary world of print. I mean, what if it's published beside an unkind article that is mean to it, and it's unable to run away because it's printed on the page?

Never Interfere with A Daddy Ducks Breakfast

Several lakes surrounded the university campus where I went to school years ago; so students were often joined by "duck beggar" families quaking away for their daily breakfast. It was annoying, because these ducks were loud and aggressive, especially if you didn't offer them something to eat. However, one particular duck provided students with a valuable lesson one day. In addition to entertaining the campus with the funniest thing one could witness in public, this daddy duck taught us to never interfere with a duck dad's breakfast.

One morning, I was reading by one of the university lakes, when I overheard a couple arguing in front of a pair of ducks. The voices of the arguing couple and a gander's squawking began to blend together in an aggressive chorus loud enough to wake every creature within miles and beyond. I felt sorry for the ducks, because this duck family wasn't following anyone. These ducks were minding their own business, trying to feed their ducklings breakfast and send them to duck school, when these people showed up and disturbed their morning. Therefore, daddy duck got a little perturbed by the human couples apparent rudeness and quickly charged in their direction.

When he approached the couple the man realized he was being challenged, so he put his hands in the air as if giving himself up for arrest, but Mr. Gander wasn't having it, and continued to advance upon the guy. Everyone around the lake, including me, started laughing while this poor man kept shouting for help and backing away from his attacker.

As the rest of the duck family squawked, the guy shouted and raised his fists as if demanding a fair fight from the creature, who continued his advance until he chased the guy down the sidewalk. It was the funniest thing I've ever witnessed, so funny that the memory makes me laugh as if it were yesterday.

Later that afternoon, when I was in another class in the same building, I heard the same squawking, only this time I was inside of a classroom. The classroom had three hundred theater style seats and two double doors at the entrance. Well, everyone seated in those seats could hear someone outside shouting "let go of me, ouch, let go of me" followed by more squawking, and honking, until the doors to the classroom flew open and both a new man and the same daddy duck burst inside the classroom. The man ran up the row of seats with daddy duck in hot pursuit nipping at his ankles... Finally someone latched onto both man and duck and the situation came to a honking halt, leaving an entire classroom of students in hysterics from laughter. This daddy ducks behavior that morning was the most valuable lesson I've ever learned without enduring any consequences, and that was: never interfere with a daddy ducks breakfast.

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